I remember growing up and into my young adult life, it seemed that new exciting things were being invented everyday. What the hell has happened?
Scientists have created a heat-activated metal penis to help men with erectile dysfunction.
Developed by experts at the University of Wisconsin in America, the remote-controlled device lengthens to eight inches when heated to 42C.
Penis inventions. Yay.
Surgically inserted in the base of the penis through an incision, the one inch metal coil can be turned on by a remote held over the groin, generating a metal field which triggers a current.
The coil then warms the implant, making it expand and fully erect.
So it’s basically a thermostat implanted in your tally whacker that you heat up with electricity. Doesn’t sound like anything bad could potentially happen.
If your dingus looks like the pic you’re already in big trouble.
I know I know, I’m making jokes about this when in reality this could really help productive male members of our society lead more normal lives. I’m sure that’s what those who came up with this had in mind.
This is not the first bionic penis to be developed by scientists.
Mohammad Abad, 44, from Edinburgh was fitted with the £70,000 replacement in 2012 after losing his penis and testicle when he was run over by a car at age six.
LOL Wut? You develop a bionic schlong and the first thing that comes to mind is, “Hey, let’s put this in one of the members of the most rapey of society.” If there’s one thing we can’t have, it’s a non sexually functioning Haji.
Before this procedure, I couldn’t even do fiki fiki. Now thanks to modern medicine I am able to enjoy fiki fiki once more.
Four years ago, Mohammed had the life-changing surgery to create his penis, which was constructed using skin from his forearm rolled up like a ‘sausage roll’.
It was only made fully functional in July 2015 after a special operation, and he now he has an implant that allows him to have erections at the touch of a button.
Meanwhile, how many native white people are waiting because they can’t get medical procedures they actually need done? Yet they have the time and who knows how much money to fix Mohamed’s penis. WT actual F? From inventions to the new drugs that are brought to the market today, it seems like we’re expending all our energies on relatively trivial things that don’t really matter. We spend millions on getting Mohamed a new dick while grandma has to wait for her knee replacement surgery because we just don’t have the funding. Remember when you used to read about declining civilizations and their eventual fall and how you sometimes wondered what it must have been like for those who were living at that time? Well, you don’t have to wonder anymore.