Like so many things, hipsters and faggots have given vaping a bad name. As such, you as a good fashy individual may be hesitant to check it out. Well fear not because Grandpa Lampshade is here to help you avoid the pitfalls of trial and error and get you on the road to vaping the right way….the fashy way.
Vaping doesn’t mean you have to be this guy.
You can be this guy.
First, let’s start off traveling down memory lane and I will share Grandpa Lampshade’s road to vaping. Many people start vaping as an alternative to smoking. However, I never smoked. Nope, Red Man chewing tobacco was my vice of choice.
Hello slimy spit my old friend…..
Now let me tell ya, there’s nothing quite like a big chew of Red Man after you finish a meal. For beginners it can lead to acute vomiting (fags) but for the seasoned vet, it’s a feel of satisfaction. Sadly, it’s not without it’s drawbacks. First off, in Texas we don’t have an income tax which is great. The downside is that they make up for it by taxing the hell out of everything else from gasoline, liquor, beer and especially tobacco. One pouch of Red Man will run you a minimum of $10. As some of you know, GPL has battled stomach issues off and on over the years and it got to the point that the heartburn and indigestion associated with the chewing tobacco became pretty unbearable. The other thing about chewing tobacco vs say snuff, is it produces spit and I mean like you can fill an ocean level of spit. You have to be very careful not to knock over your spit cup. On the bright side with chewing tobacco the spit is of such a thick slimy nature that if you do knock your spit cup over, the onslaught is delayed so you have a few moments to react. However, accidents are bound to happen. I will now share one of my worse chewing tobacco related accidents. So here I am late one evening, wrapping up a day of riding on the Harley, the sun was starting to get low on the horizon and I was getting quite tired. As I’m riding along my eyes keep drifting to the Dairy Queen cup in the cup holder which keeps giving me signs that the lid wants to blow off and that baby is a good half full 32 oz of slimy goodness. I finally decide that this is an accident just waiting to happen so in my excellent judgement I decide that it would be best to head it off. There is no one around so I reach up with my left hand and pick it up and quite confident in my idea I hold it down low to the side and flick my wrist to let it get free of me. Yeah the wind vortex around the bike instantly sucked the lid off the cup along with it’s entire contents. The contents then somehow managed to blow straight forward against what one would think possible and spray me in the face.
I know, it’s what I get for polluting.
I had to stop by the side of the road and sponge bath my face with a bottled water out of the saddle bag. Something had to change so I started vaping. If you are thinking about getting into vaping there are a lot of pitfalls. I wasted a lot of money trying different things and different combinations. Luckily, you don’t have to do the same. For this primer, I will just share with you my current favorite vape set up. This thing is great and not too costly. It’s simple, not hard to figure out and the mod box will run any combination of set up so you can experiment with different things down the road.
- Mod box. The mod box is the battery powered device that provides the power to vaporize your liquid. I went through several different ones over the years. Now you can dick around with those little pen devices that are cheap that they try to peddle to beginners and I will tell you, they are a waste of money. Get you something that will fire whatever you decide you like down the road. This is the bad boy I’m using right now. It takes three big batteries (you recharge the batteries) and it was originally rated at 150 watts but you can do a firmware update on their website and this sucker will go all the way up to 200. I don’t run it that high but it gives you an idea of what it’s capable of. Compared to other boxes this thing is very reasonably priced. I think I got mine on sale for around $50 plus the cost of the batteries. Speaking of batteries, you will need several sets to swap out and a battery charger. The batteries are a little pricey at around $12 a piece but they last a really long time. In fact, I haven’t had a battery go bad yet. You just keep recharging them. I have a charger that can charge four at once I think the charger cost me around $30. A fully charged set of batteries easily lasts me all day.
- A tank. Now that you have a mod box you need something to screw on it so you can vape. I have drippers and all sorts of other fun stuff but honestly I recommend a tank, as it is less messy, easier to deal with on a daily basis especially if you are a beginner and less fuss to deal with. Like so many things, I have been through several different tanks that were really hyped that turned out to be crap and I wasted my money. This is what you want. It’s my current tank and it’s called the Mutank. You can pick them up online for around $30-$40. You buy the coils separately and when they get too old and gunked up, you simply screw it out throw it away and put in a new one. If you are thinking about getting into vaping buy the mod box I’ve shown and this tank along with the clapton coils, set your box at 125 watts get you some max VG juice and you are done. I have tried other tanks and the coils didn’t last worth a damn. With this thing, the coils last a ridiculously long time. It’s simple, it’s easy to take apart and clean and easy to refill the juice. The only thing I can knock on it is when you put a new coil in it seems to take forever for it to get fully wicked up and even then the first few drags taste like crap until it gets broke in. However, this thing produces great flavor, great clouds and best of all the coils last very very well.
- Juice. Around my house, I pronounce this as “Jews” as in, “Oh hell, I’m running low on jews I need to mix up some more” LOL Let me tell you something, the vape shops make all of their profit off the juice. Just starting out, you can go buy the juice there but after you really get going you have got to start mixing your own juice. A 30 mil bottle of juice at the vape shop will run you in the area of $15-$17. You can mix a 30 mil bottle of juice yourself for under $2. All of the supplies are readily available online. Basically you buy a good size bottle of nicotine (I buy mine at 60%), some VG and some flavorings. You will also want to get some bottles to put the juice in and some syringes to measure everything out. Seriously folks, this stuff is easy. It can seem like it would be hard watching other people do it but once you do it one time you will be amazed at how simple it is. I can mix four bottles of juice in under 15 minutes. I use this mixing calculator you simply plug in all of the information and put in the amounts it tells you to. You will notice I didn’t mention anything about PG. That is the great thing about the tank set up I’ve recommended, you can mix your stuff 100% VG and it will wick it. I think this tank would wick maple syrup.
Well, my quick primer to fashy vaping wound up being quite a bit longer than I anticipated. Don’t let the fact that hipsters and faggots vape turn you off to vaping. Believe me, there are lots of other Nazis such as myself that do this and it is way better than tobacco products. As I predicted some time back, the government is really frowning upon vaping and are now coming out with all sorts of doom and gloom reports about how bad it is for you. As I said, I predicted that would happen several years ago. Why is that? Remember earlier when I said that one pouch of Red Man was a minimum of $10? Out of that at least $7 dollars is tax. If you buy a 30 mil bottle of juice at the vape shop you pay like a dollar in sales tax. The government at all levels makes tons of money off of punitive tobacco taxes and this vaping thing is really throwing a wrench into their income stream. So get in now while the getting is good. Learn how to mix your own juice and learn to vape the right way……….the fashy way.
BTW this was just a quick primer. There are lots of little details that didn’t get covered. If you have any questions feel free to hit me up.