So I saw the headline of this story and for some sadistic reason, I had to read it. Alas I’m glad I did, as it provided LULZ.
A mother who hiked in the snow for 30 hours to get help after her family was stranded drank her own urine and ate pine tree twigs to survive, her family said.
I know I know, you’re all thinking, “Come on GPL, it sounds like this was an act of bravery on this woman’s part. I mean, she did manage to save her family.” Just stay with me.
The family was on vacation and set off on the 150-mile journey from Bryce Canyon National Park in southern Utah to the Grand Canyon’s northern rim.
They got stuck on a forest road after they found State Route 67 had closed for the winter, and then sought an alternate way to reach their destination, Driscoll said.
The main road is closed: let’s take this unknown trail through the forest! LOL
Where I come from we have a term for these people: city folks.
The road was soon covered in snow, and the car got stuck in a ditch before Klein decided to walk to the main road about 10 miles away in search of help or a cell phone signal while her son and husband stayed in the car.
So the husband stayed behind and let his wife go hiking off through the snow. Low T idiocy or devious master plan?
But the main road was closed due to the snow, and she decided to continue on to the national park’s entrance 14 miles away.
Klein’s twin sister Kristen Haase said the college professor, who has received wilderness survival training, eventually ran out of food and water, Philly.com reported.
Oh, she’s had training! LOLOLOL Come on, hurry up and get to the part where she drank her own piss.
So Klein drank her own urine and ate pine tree twigs, knowing that eating snow could increase her chance of hypothermia, Haase said.
The ground is covered in 3 foot of snow so you drink your own pee. Yeah hypothermia or no hypothermia GPL is eating the damned snow, just not the yellow snow.
Along the way, Klein started hallucinating and she pulled a groin muscle before she finally reached a closed cabin 30 miles away.
I think she was hallucinating the moment she decided to undertake this adventure.
She broke a window and passed out inside before she was rescued six hours later and taken to the hospital.
Ok ok, I guess it may seem like I’m just being mean here. I mean after all, I guess her actions did manage to save her family right?
The 47-year-old father, who slept inside the car with their son, was able to hike to higher ground to get cellphone service to call for help, according to Driscoll.
A federal Bureau of Land Management ranger located them, and a search for the mother was launched.
Soooo, after sleeping in the car the man decides to take the hike to higher ground, use the cell phone and then call for help. After that, they had to launch a search mission for the failed would be woman hero. I dunno fam, I’ll admit the guy looks pretty faggy but I’m thinking this is some sort of genius plan to off his wife without getting his hands dirty. Or maybe it was a case of after listening to her bitch to him about how it was all his fault that they were in this situation and that she would fix it by going for help he was like, “LOL Yeah you should do that. Go ahead. I’ll sleep here in the car and watch the kid.”