Assad Says Gas Twins is a Hoax

111You wanna talk about real? It doesn’t get anymore real than this! 

Man I want to believe this is all quantum inter-dimensional underwater chess but honestly, I just don’t know. Now Assad is saying that he thinks the entire gassing was a hoax. Was it? I don’t know that either. All I do know is that when it comes to the mid east, the Jews seem to be getting the Syria war they’ve been demanding for years now.

Damascus (AFP) – Syria’s President Bashar al-Assad said a suspected chemical weapons attack was a “fabrication” to justify a US strike on his forces, in an exclusive interview with AFP in Damascus.

Yeah I know, it sounds kind of far out there. Then again the argument that this is some sort of space age level chess that we can’t comprehend on this plane of existence is a bit of a stretch too.

The embattled leader, whose country has been ravaged by six years of war, said his firepower had not been affected by the attack ordered by US President Donald Trump, but acknowledged further strikes were possible.

The one little ray of hope in this is that Trump warned the Russians and thus the Syrians that this was coming so damage was minimal. Some are saying this was all a distraction and his real target is North Korea with China taking the lead. I guess that’s possible but if that’s the case, why all of the hostile rhetoric aimed at Moscow?

Assad insisted his forces had turned over all their chemical weapons stocks years ago and would never use the banned arms.


Yeah this was the first thing that came to mind when they first started trying to sell us this gassed twins hoax; I remembered that Assad had handed all of this stuff over. If you will remember, this wasn’t some sort of deal where the Russians said he did but maybe he didn’t really, International agencies that handle this sort of stuff were involved. This would be like if the police accused you of shooting at people in your neighborhood when you said you didn’t so to clear yourself from future accusations you handed them all of your firearms but then they come back later and accuse you of murdering your neighbor with one of the guns that you handed over to the cops.

“Our impression is that the West, mainly the United States, is hand-in-glove with the terrorists. They fabricated the whole story in order to have a pretext for the attack,” added Assad, who has been in power for 17 years.

And there it is. No matter what your personal opinion of Assad is the ugly truth is that there are no “rebels” there’s just Al Qaeda and ISIS. That’s the rebels. Remember when we had to invade Iraq because of 911 even though the official 911 story didn’t have anything to do with Iraq? Remember how supposedly this tragedy was all the doing of Al Qaeda working from a cave in Afghanistan so we toppled Libya and now Syria? It’s weird. It’s almost like the whole 911 attack was a pretext to get us to go attack and destroy all of these countries that the Jews wanted attacked and destroyed.


At least 87 people, including 31 children, were killed in the alleged attack, according to the Britain-based Syrian Observatory for Human Rights monitor.

And this group would know because they are the go to group that the media always quotes for up to date habbenings on the ground in Syria. Ok, I’m using the word “group” a little loosely here.

The director of the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, Rami Abdulrahman, speaks on the phone in his home in CoventryThis is the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. All of it. The entire operation. No, I’m not making that up. Top kek bonus points: this one guy isn’t even in Syria he’s in Britain. 

But Assad said evidence came only from “a branch of Al-Qaeda,” referring to a former jihadist affiliate that is among the groups that control Idlib province, where Khan Sheikhun is located.

Don’t you love how now they act as though we have to have it explained to us who Al Qaeda is? Like we’ve forgotten or something.

111                                        You may look at this picture and think, ‘Hey, what’s Insane McCain doing meeting with Al Qaeda? Aren’t these the guys who outwitted the world’s most advanced intelligence agencies and melted steel with jet fuel?’ but you’re wrong. This is Insane McCain posing with democracy loving freedom fighters. 

Images of the aftermath, showing victims convulsing and foaming at the mouth, sent shockwaves around the world.

I heard there was also a terrorist attack in Sweden but apparently being a kid and getting crushed under a moving vehicle isn’t as bad as being gassed.

111                                                                                Yeah sure this kid died but so what?

111It can’t compare to this. 

But Assad insisted it was “not clear whether it happened or not, because how can you verify a video? You have a lot of fake videos now.”

He does have a point.

The Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons (OPCW) has begun an investigation into the alleged attack, but Russia on Wednesday blocked a UN Security Council resolution demanding Syria cooperate with the probe.

And Assad said he could “only allow any investigation when it’s impartial, when we make sure that unbiased countries will participate in this delegation in order to make sure that they won’t use it for politicised purposes.”

I don’t know but not agreeing to be railroaded seems like a prudent approach to take. If the west isn’t looking to do a railroad job, it shouldn’t be that hard to come up with a group to do this investigation that all parties can be happy with.

The OPCW has blamed Assad’s government for at least two attacks in 2014 and 2015 involving the use of chlorine.

So the OPCW has already tried to accuse of Assad of this stuff before with apparently no evidence then either. I can see why he refused to agree to these guys doing any sort of investigation. Yet, they tried to frame this as Russia voting to block any sort of investigation as though they were really trying to hide something when in fact, looking at this in an unbiased manner it is perfectly reasonable that they would assume this group is a puppet group that will find Assad guilty no matter what their supposed investigation turns up.

The Khan Sheikhun incident prompted the first direct US military action against Assad’s government since the war began, with 59 cruise missiles hitting the Shayrat airbase three days after the suspected chemical attack.

Assad said more US attacks “could happen anytime, anywhere, not only in Syria.”

I don’t know folks, maybe Grandpa Lampshade just isn’t cut out for inter-dimensional chess. I will say this, if in six months we’re all breathing a sigh of relief because this has all turned around, Russian relations are great and terrorists are out of Syria I will never question any of Trump’s foreign policy moves again. However it’s looking more and more as though believing this is some sort of chess playing beyond our comprehension is the biggest conspiracy theory of all and I just don’t have a tin foil hat that big.

pepe tinfoil hat

Author: grandpalampshadeblog

Host of Grandpa Lampshade's Thoughts of the Day on

2 thoughts on “Assad Says Gas Twins is a Hoax”

  1. Well that was an on point synopsis. Very well thought through and the conclusions were very logical. I am so glad to finally have embraced my inner Nazi. Thank you GPL!!

    Liked by 1 person

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