Grandpa Lampshade’s Celebrity Column

As you all well know, Grandpa Lampshade isn’t particularly known for keeping up with celebrities much less writing about them. In fact, most of the time when the topic of celebrities comes up, my reaction is “Who’s that?” I just chalked it up to old age and ZFG but on rare occasions (when lulz are involved) I feel the need to write a celebrity gossip article. This is one of those times. 

Serena Williams is pregnant with her first baby.
The tennis star, 35, made the announcement on Wednesday where she showed off her pregnant belly on Snapchat.
Williams wore a yellow swimsuit and said she was 20 weeks along, which means she won the Australian Open in late January at around 8 weeks.
The athlete is engaged to Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian, 33.

Man it must be nice to be rich and famous. You get to have smoking hot celebrity girlfriends and it makes the news when you get her pregnant and you just know every other man on the planet is filled with jealousy that you are so damned lucky.



Yessiree, that’s one lucky guy.

Serena had a small baby bump, which she showed in profile as she held up her phone to a mirror.

How can you tell? It looked as though it was just as likely that “she” forgot to tuck in her huge penis.

A source has insisted to TMZ that Williams is indeed pregnant. Her reps have yet to confirm she is with child.

I’m in total suspense.

222                          LOLOLOL you can see the veins popping out of his neck! 


Alexis proposed to her in late December, around four weeks into her pregnancy.
He popped the question with a large diamond ring, which she showed off in January. They had been dating for only 15 months before he got down on one knee.
‘It feels good,’ she said of the engagement in late January.

Hey Alexis, I wonder if the baby will be black? LOLOL

111Aside from the obvious reasons, I couldn’t date a black woman just because of my troll nature. For instance, when this picture was snapped I would have started yelling, “Help she’s mugging me!”

She also spoke glowingly of her husband-to-be: ‘He’s incredibly — a really nice person,’ she said.
‘I think he definitely treats everyone the same, which is really cool to see. Really, really nice to see.’

I’m betting he swings both ways as well.

111   I wonder if he ever has those fantasies about both sisters at the same time? If so does it count as gay? 

Williams was born in Saginaw, Michigan, to Richard Williams and Oracene Price, and is the youngest of Price’s five daughters: half-sisters Yetunde, Lyndrea and Isha Price, and full sister Venus.
She moved to LA’s rough Compton neighborhood when she was still a toddler. When her career took off, the family moved to Florida.

The tennis ace is very wealth, too: according to Forbes, she is worth $150m.

Yeah well, money isn’t everything.

111  Don’t even daydream about it boys unless you’re a wealthy internet guy. Some dreams just aren’t meant for us mere mortals. That’s one lucky guy! 

111The gamma is strong in this one. 

Grandpa Lampshade is just a regular guy like all of you and just like you, I sometimes sit around and think about all of the things I would do if I were rich. I would have my own plane, travel around and meet up with fashy bros all over the country and coordinate our next moves in stopping these kikes. With wealth also comes more options when it comes to women, that’s just how it is. However in all of my daydreams about being wealthy, making a panty raid through the gorilla exhibit at the zoo has never been one of them. I get it that everybody likes something different but come on, there has to be limits. Meh, oh well, congratulations to the father to be on his future nigglet. I hope you have fun with that but just know this: your days of relaxing are coming to an end.

111                                                                           I mean if you were wealthy and black was your thing, I would at least go with something like this. 

Author: grandpalampshadeblog

Host of Grandpa Lampshade's Thoughts of the Day on

4 thoughts on “Grandpa Lampshade’s Celebrity Column”

  1. GLP: I like your serious side much more…But GLP what do you think of the run off election in Georgia (Ossoff) trying to break the GOP control over that district. ALL of the JEWISH hollywwod stablishment came out for Ossoff big time$$$. I wonder why do goyims vote for more JEWS to congress??? whats wrong with goyland???siding with hollywood dem jews???


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