Not Grandpa Lampshade Christianity

On the show that will be posted up later today, I was asked about “Grandpa Lampshade Christianity” which I will be discussing at length. It’s kind of funny because I didn’t think GPL Christianity was anything more than the regular kind. However when you look at what is passing for Christianity today, I can see why it seems to stand out as if it were something new.

NEW YORK (AP) — Karen Oliveto clutched a friend’s hand, closed her eyes and wept when she learned last year she had been elected a bishop of the United Methodist Church.

A woman Bishop, yeah this definitely isn’t GPL Christianity. Well, at least it doesn’t have anything to do with gays.

Oliveto, who is married to another woman, had become the denomination’s first openly gay bishop.

LOL Then again, scratch that. Here’s a thought: if spirituality is so important to homos, why don’t they just start their own new religion? It could be called the church of anal love or something. They could build an idol out of a giant dildo. Instead, they insist on invading what are supposed to be Christian churches and taking them over. Why? Because it’s not about wanting to find a deeper spirituality, it’s about forcing you to abandon your beliefs and principles and to submit. In other words: it’s enemy action.

Within minutes, a formal complaint was filed challenging her election as contrary to the church ban on clergy who are “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” – a petition that the highest Methodist judicial authorities agreed to consider. On Tuesday, the court will take up the closely watched case, the latest flashpoint over LGBT rights in a denomination splintering over the Bible and homosexuality.

Now fags have the “right” to come into and take over your churches.

Bishop Karen Oliveto                                                   I’m here to talk about Jesus and munch carpet and I’m all out of carpet. 

“It highlights very greatly that we are two different churches and that the real difference is whether or not we’re going to live by the covenant that we each have agreed to,” said the Rev. Rob Renfroe, who leads Good News, a caucus of evangelical Methodists that has lobbied to uphold current teaching.

No, it highlights the fact that you either have a Church or a social club with no principles except please give us money.

Said Oliveto, “I’m in deep prayer, reminding myself of what God has called me to do.”

God has called you to repent and submit. But you don’t want to do that. You are in open rebellion and are attempting to force God to submit to you via his people. How much do you think she would believe in “God’s calling” if she weren’t going to get paid for this?

Oliveto, who is based in the Denver area, will attend the hearing in Newark, New Jersey, accompanied by fellow bishops from the church’s Western Jurisdiction, her wife, mother and childhood pastor.

Can you imagine? This is actually being debated instead of just outright purged immediately.

LGBT clergy and their supporters plan to pray outside and wear T-shirts listing the first names only of gay clergy who would risk losing their ministerial credentials by coming out.

Don’t stop there faggots: give us their full names so they can be purged. Then while you’re at it, tell us how you know those people are indeed fags. It’s not something that just comes up in conversation so it would seem to me that there is probably a big sex ring going on inside this so called church. Further more, everyone needs to know who these people are so they can keep their kids away from them because we know how homosexuals reproduce: by getting a hold of impressionable young people and wrecking their lives.

The goal is to underscore the human cost of church policy, said the Rev. Lea Matthews of the LGBT advocacy group Methodists in New Directions.

I have a newsflash for you: God doesn’t give a shit.

Methodists approved language in 1972 calling same-gender relationships “incompatible with Christian teaching.” The top church policy-making body, or General Conference, has upheld that policy ever since, even as LGBT rights gained acceptance and other mainline Protestants, including the Episcopal Church and the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), approved same-sex marriage.

Yeah that’s called “following the world” and has nothing to do with Christianity. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

In recent years, the Methodists have seen their greatest growth overseas, especially in Africa, among more theologically conservative people, who have been standing with U.S. evangelical Methodists against recognizing same-gender relationships.

You know your church is screwed when the Africans are the voice of goddamned reason. SMDH.

Deeply frustrated, Methodist LGBT advocates have stepped up pressure for new policies, holding same-sex weddings in defiance of church prohibitions and coming out as gay and lesbian from the pulpit.

Those who were supposed to guard the church over the years have failed. Those who listened to the song of “acceptance” and “being open” sold their spiritual inheritance down the river. Now these people have infiltrated and are destroying the organization. I’ll be fair though, some people in that church are fighting back.

Conservatives responded by intensifying demands for church discipline over such actions. In one high-profile case, the Rev. Frank Schaefer was tried by a church court and defrocked for presiding at the wedding of his son to another man.

What happened next?

Schaefer was later reinstated as a minister on an appeal of the ruling.

Wow, it’s just the same as how politics plays out all over the rest of the country. The Marxists march in, demand inclusiveness and destroy the organization. The conservatives then make a feeble attempt to stop them and the “court” overturns their effort and sides with the Marxists. Then everyone goes home and wonders how things got so divisive.

These divisions erupted dramatically last year at a meeting of the General Conference, which was rife with talk of a possible schism. At one point, LGBT advocates on the perimeter of a session lay on the floor with rainbow-colored duct tape over their mouths.

111                                   Yes, I can feel the spirit of the Lord from here. 

This may come as a shock to you but it really doesn’t to me. I saw a lot of this coming years ago when I actually attended a church congregation. Back then the mantra was, “If it’s not growing it’s not godly” which even at that time when I hadn’t reached nearly the plateau of enlightenment that I have now I recognized as being completely retarded. What it was really about was “Let’s welcome anyone and everyone who will come because then we can collect more money”. So they swung the gates open wide and allowed the enemy to come on in and make himself comfortable. Now people stand around with this deer in the headlights look, trying to figure out what the heck has happened. If someone offered to furnish your house for free but the only catch was the furniture was full of bed bugs, would you accept? Well, these churches accepted and now they are infested. The conservatives are making a show by trying to step on one bed bug and are even failing at that. The best way to prevent an infestation is to not let it get started to begin with. However once you have it, sometimes the only answer is to burn the entire thing down and walk away.

crusader pepeTake heart: being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to be a cucked out faggot. 

Author: grandpalampshadeblog

Host of Grandpa Lampshade's Thoughts of the Day on

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